2011!!!!
Whoosh!!!!!
That’s what the last year seems like now, a blur of so much that happened and went by too soon. After my travels of 2009 I had promised myself that more would follow and that’s how the year started spending 3 gorgeous weeks in Europe! Witnessing snow like it’s meant to be and not hail that was an excuse for snow in Vaishnodevi.
Aashayein finally released! Unfortunately its showing in cinema halls didn’t last as long as my wait for its release. I had 3 releases this year, almost feel like the superstars are lagging behind with one or no releases this year. Look at me three!!! HA!!!!!
My brother got married!!! Aashil is actually married. No matter how many times I say it, it still hasn’t sunk in, though I can’t describe the joy of having yet another person at home who I love so dearly and who is such fun, wish I had more time to spend in Bangalore. Having said that allow me to steer you towards the happening that will most certainly keep me away from Bangalore for longer stretches now.
I got engaged!!!!! And will be married on the 30th of January next yearJ So the astrologer was right after all, close at least… Only it ain’t Caprio, it’s this guy who would give anyone a complex with his infinite, inexhaustible goody bag of flawless qualities that just make him so lovable. Someone who would make Caprio seem so boring with no hope of revival – that in my world is a big deal! So allow me to introduce you in print to the man who will truly in every sense of the word be my better half – Akhil Nair!!! (No he doesn’t love me enough to have accepted my maiden name, it just so happens to be his as well and I ain’t complaining at all)
So 2011 is truly going to be a new year for me, the next phase of my life, a marriage, a new home, a new country, new work perhaps, a new life that I ‘m looking forward to start!!!
I end the year with so much respect for my parents and a lot of emotional turbulence that I’m still coming to terms with knowing that I’m going to be further away from them than I would have liked. I can’t thank my stars enough for having been blessed with the best set of parents in the world!!! They’ve seen me through to this day of my life where I’m literally on my own now, to start a family of my own, which I’m supremely confident of instead of being nervous as I had envisaged myself to be. And that confidence stems from the unfailing support system all 3 of them have been in my life every step of the way.
So HAPPY 2011 everyone!!!! If you happen to be in Singapore please do get in touch.
Lots of love,
Anaitha
31st dec 2010, 10:55 a.m.
MIRACLES DO HAPPEN
I've heard of how painful and agonising it can be for a parent to see their baby turn 2-3 and not having taken their first step yet. I'm not a parent, but I've felt that pain in a whole other way.
August 27th will mark 3 years, one month and 10 days since we finished shooting a film called Aashayein, that had promised to release in December 2007, and didnt despite starring John Abraham, being directed by Nagesh Kukunoor and being produced by Percept Picture Co. I dont think I've sacrificed as much for any film as I did for Aashayein. I shaved my head off for the film, lost out on a year of work just after Chak De released thanks to the same and went through the most I've been through emotionally during the shoot of the film... and after all that Aashayein never saw the light of day. Well not until now.
Release date after release date, a launch for the film, a music release, all kinds of promotion but no news of the film releasing. There was a time when I was told it wouldn't ever, but one never loses hope I guess. Aashayein barkaraar thi.
Aashayein is finally releasing on the 27th of August 2010. I have no idea whats in store for the film, but that doesnt take away from the emotional rollercoastal ride its been thanks to Aashayein. Yes? No? Maybe? Never? There was never a concrete answer.
Every person you meet and every experience in your life is there for a reason. I would never have seen it 3 years ago, but I do know today that Aashayein was meant to be a film I did at the stage in my life I did it, for all the right reasons. And today Im only grateful for it and all it taught me before, through and after its filming.
I have no way of knowing what work I will do tomorrow, but as of today I know that this was the toughest film by far - emotionally, physically, mentally, personally and careerwise. Even though it releases 3 years down the line today, I still love it as much as I did when I shot it.....and having watched it, I'm so proud of the film!
My baby is finally walking, its been a long wait, but a wait worth the while. I would never have wanted it any other way... Tathastu!
Anaitha.
2nd August 2010, 8:58 p.m.
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!!!
2010!!! That was fast!
It’s still so vivid in my head, the “Millenium” and the whole big deal it was made out to be. All the thinking and planning that went on for months before December 1999. Each one wanting to ensure their ‘Millenium’ night was super special. Such a fuss was made about it all over the world, that I almost disappointed myself when us three friends snuggled into one blanket on a ‘khaat’ that lay on Sonia’s terrace. That’s where we were when we brought in 12 a.m. of the new millennium. Looking up at the sky and the few stars that a Bangalore winter sky afforded us.
If “star gazing “or “reaching for the stars” was what we were doing that night, then the last ten years have been all of that and more for me. I almost can’t believe it’s been ten years already. This year was such fun, the lowest point being the run up to July 19th… my turning 25!! I whined about it all year until the day arrived and I realized it wasn’t that bad after all. In the last year I seem to have noticed a lot about me that has changed drastically and rapidly. At this point I don’t know whether I’m happy to be getting older or not!! Sometimes it’s great to just be fancy free and not know. Getting older and the responsibilities it brings kills that, of course to the degree that you let it. :) It’s funny, but just the number 25 has something about it that makes it sound like you’ve reached the landing where the next flight of stairs begins …:) Yeah but I’m over it now… The next time a birthday will depress me now is when I’m 30… no wait maybe 40:)
If the various astrologers (who I love visiting, given half a chance) are to be believed, I will be married and living ‘abroad’ in 2010. Given I’ve just had the best year of my professional life, the result of which I’ll know next year and I have no plans of getting married, I do find this hard to believe. But that’s the thing about these astrologers, they make you listen to these stories they concoct and you start believing them and working towards it unconsciously, especially if it’s something you want to believe…. One of them also told me that I’m going to become really famous and successful at what I do after settling down ‘abroad’. So who knows in my next new year mail to you, I might just have become the next Freida Pinto who got lucky overnight; introducing you to my new husband (read an eligible international star –I’ll settle for Caprio) and a child perhaps (whose pictures I will sell to Hello and OK for millions)!!! I like that story. Remind me to give you the numbers of these astrologers I went to, they’ll ensure you have a dreamy lala land story to look forward to all of next year as well:)
So yeah… Last year ended horribly with half of India having lost faith in humanity, this year has been great and the next will only get better. It’s your state of mind at the end of the day, and I'm in the best state of mind I’ve been in for a long time… getting closer to that star I saw 10 years ago….
HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!!!
Let the Good times Begin!!!! Woohoo!!!!!
31st December, 12:03 p.m.
ADDICTED!
What is it about intoxication?
Liberation, escape, peer pressure, stress relief, the 16 year old “thing to do”, curiosity, social culture…. It starts off in different ways, but sometimes it just gets outta control. When you’re intoxicated through the day, you’re addicted.
I’ve never understood it. What makes it so irresistible to a person, so much so that they’re willing to put their lives and that of those around them in jeopardy. To allow a substance to direct your life in a way that your mind ceases to function of its own will. How does one willingly give that power away to a thing? A person is bad enough, but a thing!!!! I fail to comprehend.
Weakness? Loneliness? Sense of failure? Inferiority? What is it that drives you to addiction, as if it were the last thread your life hung on. Every human being has experienced that moment of weakness, loneliness, failure and inferiority, without exception. Then why is it that some succumb and some don’t. Even when you do succumb, in your rare moment of sanity you must realize the consequences of your decision to continue with it. Why doesn’t the gravity of the situation stop you from continuing?
To consciously destroy and renounce not just your life, but those around you as well. A huge price to pay I’d imagine. To look into your parents eyes and see the disappointment in them, to look into your child’s eyes and see the confusion in them, to look into your own and see the wreck you are. It’s easier to keep falling rather than pick yourself up, isn’t it? That feeling of knowing you are sinking and sinking fast, but can’t find the will, to hold on to that lifeline that wants to get you up. Instead you allow yourself to sink deeper, with renewed intensity.
Must you be addictive by nature? Is it a separate breed of people, or could it happen to anyone? Is it the security of love as a child, a peaceful environment growing up or constant achievement through life that helps give you a natural high? Wherin you never found the need for an external addiction to be a constant “feel good”.
It scares me. I’ve seen people’s lives crumble before my eyes with addiction. But I guess that’s why it’s called addiction isn’t it? Because you know you want to get out but can’t find the strength to, or maybe you just don’t want to. This is the only love and sense of security you’ve ever felt. It never asked questions, never judged you, never made you feel small, instead made you feel like you owned the world. And when feeling good doesn’t come often, owning the world isn’t a bad second to settle for.
If it makes you happy go for it, is what I always say. But this time around maybe not. Because temporary happiness isn’t worth a thing, especially when it’s a result of lying to yourself. At some point you have to face your life’s truths, better sooner than later. Find that someone to hold onto, who’s willing to pull you out of every mess you’ve ever gotten yourself into, find that purpose in life to pull you through your darkest days….
But that’s the problem you’d say. Sometimes that someone or something isn’t easy to come by. I think they are, we choose not to see it. It’s the more convenient option.
Anaitha
November 12, 2009. 10:20 am.
I FORBID THEE...(but who are you again?)
I've always been one for living by the rules, but of late I think its getting a bit much.
Agreed there has to be some method to madness,but using your absolute boredom and nothing else to do with your time in order to impose yourself and your thoughts on another is ridiculous.
Often I think we protest not because it offends us or our sensibilities, but because we like to believe we have sensibilities that can be offended.
Cuz most often people who are fighting for so called "causes" are probably the most far removed from the cause as can be. It has no direct or indirect impact on their life at all. In fact in most cases the people making the hue and cry are the ones who'd be the first to do it, if given half a chance. Its their guilt that drives them to oppose it, because that makes them feel righteous all over again..:)
It is quite funny... If only we learnt to mind our own business... It works far better than anything else..
XOXO
Anaitha
11th September 2009, 5:41pm.
"MY" World
I've been in London the last month on work, which has been a vacation of sorts, given I've had plenty of rest days in between.
The last 4 weeks have been exhilarating, exciting, educational and full of surprises.
Its funny how all the travel I've done so far seems so insignificant and pales in comparison to this trip. It’s obviously because this is the first time I wanted to explore for myself. Sights were seen, because I wanted to understand and absorb not because they were on the sightseeing list!
Travelling does open your eyes to facets of yourself you never knew existed before. To wake up every morning, not knowing where you’re going to go or who you’re going to meet, some stranger perhaps who might end up being such an integral part of your life or might have changed you in those 10 minutes of meeting him or her.
A friend of mine told me a few months ago, "Anaitha this is YOUR world" that really did make sense to me. This is MY world and I have to see all of it. Me not doing that is a shame. And that’s exactly what I want to do now more than anything. I want to go see my world, and experience all it has to offer me, because I've realized how much richer this trip has left me.
The last year made me feel very stagnant, like there was a rut I needed to get out of...
This was my exit, and I plan to make many more soon.
XOXO
Anaitha
25th August,2009. 8:05 pm.
Hello....
Given how technologically challenged I can want myself to be, this was the last thing I thought I'd get done. A website!!! But its finally up and Im thrilled.
Its very basic, but has got all I wanted on it so far... Will add things as they get started and if they make for interesting public viewing.
Oh and yes to answer the question that has probably become the most asked question of my life in the last year...
"When is Aashayein releasing?"
I wish I knew. Its ready and should be out "soon" Its turned out really well, so Im sure it won't be long.
Anaitha XO
July 22,2009. 6:45pm